Had lunch with a fellow SAHD today, one of my favorite dudes from my monthly Group, and he told me that he was moving back to where he and his wife came from at the end of the month. Grrr…suckage! I mean, great for him and his wife and kid, but, shitty for me and Greta and the rest of the Meetup guys who really dug him.

Anyway, he was talking about how hard life as a SAHD was and how it was even harder in a new city where he didn’t know anyone and then he used a word that I think perfectly encapsulates life as a SAHD. He said that sometimes, he just felt really “isolated”. Holy shit, are you kidding me, dude? That’s how I feel like, five times a day! And I’ve lived in this city for almost twenty years and know plenty of people.

So, I ran home and looked up the exact meaning of the word and, my favorite definition was: “having minimal contact or little in common with others”. Yep, that’s the word for it alright. There are good days and even great days, but, when the bad days hit back hard, we are all isolated on baby island, dude. And, I’m sorry, but when that happens, not even the cutest, most loving kid on earth can take the place of good old adult human contact.

And that’s why those of us who do have shit in common (namely the day-to-day upbringing of our children) gotta stick together and not be moving home and shit. Urgh, anyway, best of luck on your new adventures, amigo…we’ll miss ya.


Filed under Daddy stuff

4 responses to “Isolated…

  1. Domestiç Reclusë

    Hmmm, I prefer the term “recluse” to “isolated.” Then it sounds more like you don’t have the plague that’s had the world avoiding you, but rather you’re the one who’s avoiding the world’s plague. LOL I bet that as SAHDs, it’s even harder to get rid of the feelings of isolation that it is for SAHMs. At least most women are wired for communication and seeking out other women, whereas most men are wired differently. (Not saying we’re all this way, cuz to be honest I think I’m the opposite.) But one thing’s for sure: we all suffer from fellow moms/dads looking down on us for staying-at-home, yet at the same time we also get looks of envy from working moms/dads who think all we do is sit at home and eat bon bons or watch tv all day.

    Hopefully your friend will make new connections at their new residence… And at least you’ve made a few of your own so it won’t be too bad. I’m gonna have to try that MeetUp to find SAHMs in my area too & see how that goes. 😉

    Before I go, I also wanted to extend an invitation to you in case you’d like to join fellow stay-at-home bloggers in a blog hop called “S.A.H.bbatical,” since we all can definitely use a sabbatical/break once in a while! Hope to see you there!

  2. Wow…you said it, Domestic Recluse! A life lived in the stay-at-home-trenches is never easy. You really do get it from all sides, the jealous parents, the disapproving parents, not to mention the extended family members who just have to weigh in on the issue at parties and such. Urgh…just wait till they see the badass adult this badass kid I am raising is gonna be. Then they’ll know that everything I went through was worth it! Ha! Of course, most of the real haters will be dead by then, but, I’ll know that what I went through was meaningful and made my daughter a rockstar, so, that’s all that matters, right? 🙂

    Oh, and yes, I much prefer the term “recluse” as well. I worked at home before my daughter came, so, I guess you could say, I’ve been a professional recluse since college. Ha! But yeah, I totally think you should try Meetup if you’re going super crazy. I know that just talking to other SAHD’s has really mellowed me out a lot.

    To be fair, I have met some killer SAHM’s at the parks and stuff, but, the problem is that I feel like a super creep making play dates with them, you know? It’s just not the same as with guys. For a while I actually tried showing up at the park around the time the mom’s were there the last time I ran into them and hope we’d meet up again, and, well, that made me feel even creepier, like: “I’m watching you, I know your schedule…”. So, I quickly stopped that too. But yeah, Meetup really saved my ass and best of all, it has given Greta a whole new group of little friends that she is starting to know by name. So, yay!!

    Anyway, thanks so much for checking out my blog. I have just totally stalked your blog and some of the others on the SAHBbatical page as well and they are all awesome! I can’t wait to join the blog hop! Thanks for the invite!

    • Domestiç Reclusë

      Well, since you feel kinda creepy about being a SAHM-stalking SAHD, you can also check out Twitter and maybe meet a few that way, assuming you haven’t already. I know some awesome SAHDs I follow in Twitter; they are quite the hilarious bunch. I love the “colorful” choice of words they use — especially when describing their potty training horrors in both tweet and blog form. LOL Plus you can set up WordPress to tweet your latest blog posts automatically for free pimping & exploitation, without the regretful “coyote ugly” after-effects. 😉

      Anyways, I just wanted to drop in & check things out now that my holiday chaos is over. Good luck!

  3. Hey, Recluse! Thanks for the links to the SAHD Twitter feeds. They are hilarious! It’s good to know there are so many of us out there these days!

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