Quote of the day: Tia Mowry

OK, let me start by saying that I absolutely loathe Tia and Tamera Mowry — those crazy-annoying twins from that crazy-annoying TV show Sister, Sister — so, I was kinda surprised when Tia said something even remotely interesting (and relevant to my current gig as a SAHD) on The Nate Berkus Show today. Yes, I watch Nate Berkus sometimes. Mostly to fill the gaping hole in my life since Oprah left the basic cable airwaves. So sad…

Anyway, Mr. Berkus was interviewing Tia and he asked her if motherhood was what she expected it to be. You know, total softball, standard daytime-TV question. But her response was surprisingly honest, especially coming from a fake-ass robot like her. Sorry, even if I totally agree with her…I still kinda hate her. Anyway, this is how Tia Mowry answered Nate’s question:

“I’m gonna be honest, I’m gonna be real. The lows are a lot lower than I expected, I mean, I am so exhausted, I am always on auto-pilot. But the highs are a lot higher than I expected [too]. I have so much love for my son, he is my motivation.”

Wow, nicely put, Sister, um, Sister. I feel your lows and your highs!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Spent the last couple of days boiling and eating corned beef, cabbage and potatoes (we had an early St. Patrick’s Day feast on Friday with my brother and sister-in-law and a reheated version of the exact same meal, complete with black and tans, tonight) and lemme tell ya, I could eat that shit every day. Seriously, God bless the Irish!

Also been playing loads of Irish music — Enya, U2, Celtic Women, Luka Bloom, Sinead, The Cranberries, you name it, it’s on our iPod’s epic, three-hour-long “Irish Spring Playlist”! — including one of my all-time-favorite late-90’s bands, Garbage.

I know it totally dates me, but, man, I loved those guys. And don’t even get me started on their lead singer, Shirley Manson. That milky skin, all that crazy red hair, and that angry, riot grrl snarl, whew…she had me at “top o’ the morning to ya”. Seriously, she can rest her weary hand on my knotty old shillelagh anytime she wants. Follow the link, I’m not being nearly as dirty as I sound.

Anyway, figured St. Patrick’s Day was as the perfect time to teach Greta the finer points of Garbage appreciation, so, we rocked out with her Barbies to some of the band’s finest jams. Greta was a little hesitant to belt out the chorus on “Stupid Girl” — since S-T-U-P-I-D is a “bad word” in our house, we sang it as “Bad Word Girl”, which totally worked — but she and her Barbies sang the hell out of “I’m Only Happy When it Rains”. Of course, that may have been because it was pouring outside.

Either way, the worst part of my day came later, when I discovered, via Facebook, that my beloved Shirley Manson is as Irish as the fake-ass brogue I’ve been rocking all weekend. Which means, of course, she’s not Irish at all. Nope, turns out my favorite Irish singer is, in fact, a Scot. Urgh…so much for the ethnic purity of my playlist.

Ah, who am I kidding? Irish or not, I’m still your biggest fan, Shirley girl. If I like your music, and Lord knows I do, then your place on my playlist (and in my heart) remains totally unchanged. Happy Saint Patrick’s Day and long live the Scottish too!

Overloaded

Please forgive my absence of late. We had three big parties over three very-busy weekends in a row and I spent the last week pretty much recovering from the thrill/joy/nausea of it all. Seriously, any one of those parties (one was for the Oscars, one was for Greta’s third birthday and one was for my Grandma’s 90th birthday) would have tired a normal person out. But three parties over three weekends was just plain crazy.

Combine all that with the fact that Mrs. Yeti has been working like a beast (long hours, six-day workweeks, you name it) which means I’ve been doing the brunt of the toddler wrangling, and, well, let’s just say even my best Barbie scenarios are wearing kinda thing these days.

On the upside, the cat is using her box like a pro (or, you know, like a regular cat) and Greta has declared me her “best friend” four days running, so, there’s always that…

Inappropriate Elimination

Ever had one of those weeks where you have a bunch of people coming into town or some big event or just a bunch of stuff happening in a few days and instead of doing anything useful until those days arrive…you totally waste every waking minute not doing anything constructive? Like you’ve got so much shit to do that you can’t decide what to do first, so, you check Facebook instead? Well, that’s what this past week has been like for me.

I cleaned up the house after the Oscar party on Monday, introduced Greta to the multi-cultural thrills of Mexican Lotería on Tuesday, and mourned Davy Jones on Wednesday — seriously, aside from a trip to the park, that’s kinda all I did today — and now, with the first of several houseguests arriving sometime tomorrow, I have tons of crap to do and no time. Oh well, at least the house is clean. Kinda. Well, lets just say it’s clean enough for the houseguest we have staying with us first.

Anyway, in the midst of all this craziness we bought a new cat box for our woefully-neglected cat, Nigella. Not thinking anything of it, I chucked the old litter box in the garbage on garbage day, so, it was gone, like, permanently, before I realized that Nigella hates and will not use her shiny new litter box. Not only did she shit on the carpet (twice), but Greta and I actually watched her pee on the rug behind the kitchen table while we played Lotería. WTF, cat?!!

I’m sorry, but, I went off on that poor kitty. In case P.E.T.A. or the SPCA is reading, I won’t go into details, but, there was a lot of kitty nose rubbing in piss and swearing going on. Greta, of course, found the entire episode hilarious and only stopped laughing long enough to remind me that I was using several of the very worst words on our “bad words” list. Oy…what a night. And then, of course, I couldn’t sleep. Every noise I heard sounded like an angry, abused cat pissing on my laptop bag or the fancy blue chair in the living room. So, I turned to Google.

Turns out there is a term for a cat not using their litter box, it’s called “inappropriate elimination”. And the experts agree that the best way to avoid inappropriate elimination is to place your new cat box side by side with the old one until the cat transitions over. Of course, that makes perfect sense. But, as I mentioned above, our old cat box was halfway to the recycling center before I realized I still needed it. Lucky me.

I know it sounds mean, but, my patience for kitty potty drama — or kitty drama of any kind, if I’m being honest — is pretty much non-existent since Greta came along. It’s terrible, I know, but, I just don’t have the time or energy to monitor one more living thing. Urgh…poor, Nigella. Life will get better for you when Greta gets older, I promise.

Anyway, just this morning, the cat finally used her box for the first time. Greta was thrilled: “Look, Daddy, Nigella made a big poopy in her box!” And I was relieved, but, still a little suspicious. So, all I can do now is keep our valuables off the floor, make sure Greta’s bedroom door is always closed, and pray that the cat doesn’t inappropriately eliminate on any of us while we sleep.

Like I said, it’s been a long week…