Every once in a while, I stop and take a look at my life and realize that, with a few notable exceptions, my world is full of women. I have two moms — wait, that sounds wrong, not two moms in a lesbian couple kinda way, but, you know, my mom and my stepmom — a bunch of female friends and family and I live with two women…or, um, one woman and one toddler who just thinks and acts like she’s a grown-ass woman. Hell, even our cat is a girl.
Any way you look at it, I will always be outnumbered. And usually, that’s cool. I mean, I love women, girls, toddlers, whatever. In fact, I usually get along better with women than men. And anyone who knows me can tell you that I am definitely not Joe Macho Man, but, every so often, I do tend to feel a bit ganged up on.
I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, poor, Yeti. Ganged up on by a bunch of girls!” And I know it sounds stupid, but, sometimes I really wanna just, you know, take a piss in the forest or catch a fish with my bare hands and shit. OK, I don’t really wanna catch a fish with my bare hands, and, truth be told, I pee outside a lot. But, the point I’m trying to make here is that every once in a while, it would be great if all the ladies in my life (that includes you, Greta!) took a moment to appreciate me for all the good things I do and not harp on the bad. You know?
I’m not asking for a party or a parade or anything, but, just the chance to be who I am without anyone commenting on it. Hell, even just a big old bear hug and a smile would do. For instance, Greta told me the other day that I was the “Sweetest Dad she knew.” and then she hugged me really hard and that shit made my day. Of course, she changed her tune pretty quick when I told her she couldn’t eat her dinner in front of her little TV. But, for that moment, I was golden and it felt awesome.
So, ladies, if I seem grouchy or moody or out of sorts sometimes, it’s not because I don’t love you or appreciate all the good that you do (because I totally do!), I’m probably just feeling a wee bit outnumbered. So, you know, give a brother a break once in a while. I might love all kinds of truly girlie shit, but, deep down, I am not one of you. And if I wanna be my messy, sweaty, sleep-deprived self sometimes…let me. And if I ask for space to go duck hunting or whatever, well, let me do that too.
OK. That’s all I got. Thanks for listening and see ya at the next Barbie tea party in Greta’s room. Oh, and, for the record, the only thing I really hunt for are bargains. But, that still counts! So, Grrrr…leave me alone, I’m tracking some reasonably-priced Blu-Rays at Costco!
Stay-at-home-Yeti 
You sound like my brother! He’s the only boy with four sisters and has two daughters of his own. He’s been known to paint fingernails, do a French braid, and his house is littered with pink. Poor, guy lol. He thankfully has a good balance of male friends and goes running, I suppose to get all that sweaty stuff you out that you mentioned!
Ha! Glad to know i am not alone in the world. Where does your brother run? I’ll join him. Lord knows I could use the exercise! 🙂
Or we could swap households for a weekend…Wrigley (our dog) is a boy, too. Testosterone is flying everywhere! (It’s a good thing I don’t like pink.) Hey, there’s an idea for a new reality show, “Estro-Testo SWAP!”
OMG, you need to copyright that idea right now, Mrs. Moon! And as far an actual estro-testro swapping goes, how does this weekend work for you? Tell the boys I’m bringing beer and lightsabers for all! Actually, the beer is just for the big boys, you know, till the kids are “of age” and all that, but, we’ll still have a blast! 🙂