Princess Book Party

Speaking of Halloween costumes, Greta got to test drive her Queen Elsa costume over the weekend at the Friends of the Burbank Library's very cool Princess Book Party. Held at the Burbank Library's central branch on Glenoaks, the event featured Princess trivia, bingo, crafts, cookies, gift bags and even a visit from everyone's favorite Disney Princess/Queen du jour, Queen Elsa from Frozen! Hooray!

As you can see, Greta had an awesome time. And despite the fact that there are already piles of library books scattered all over her bedroom, we came home with another big old batch of new ones as well. Now if I could just remember when they're all due back at the library, all would be right with the world. Either way, enjoy the pics!

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Greta’s Bookshelf: “Dragons Love Tacos” by Adam Rubin

For those of you who were worried that all I’d ever blog about again is climate change, women’s rights and gun control, I give you a charming, very funny children’s book about dragons eating tacos. Actually, the title of the book says it all, because “Dragons Love Tacos” is about exactly that.

Written by the very witty Adam Rubin and beautifully illustrated by Daniel Salmieri, “Dragons Love Tacos” isn’t just fun to read, but it’s also highly re-readable (is that a word? If not, it should be!) and best off all, it’s short!

Seriously, “Dragons” is the perfect bedtime length book for kids: meaty enough to feel substantial and yet not so long that you’ll need a bookmark. I know that sounds like a weird thing to be happy about, but, considering the fact that Greta usually crawls into bed with at least three books, I’ll take short, cool books over epic poems anytime!

And books about crazy, Mexican food loving dragons? What’s not to love? Rubin and Salmieri had me at “tacos!” Best new kids book ever!

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Library Store on Wheels in the news!

Hot on the heels of being named one of Wuztwhat's Seven Havens for Booklovers in Los Angeles, The Library Store made the news again this week when the store's mobile truck (and Mrs. Yeti herself!) appeared on Thursday's 6:00PM news on KNBC 4.

Featured in a segment on a proposed bill to streamline and simplify the permit process for mobile vendors and retail trucks, The Library Store on Wheels was just one of three trucks in the piece, but, they definitely got the most screen time. I think they have the coolest-looking truck too, but, perhaps I'm a bit biased.

Either way, kudos to Mrs. Yeti and everyone on her rocking Library Store team on yet another awesome TV appearance. Keep on mobile trucking, guys!

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Maya Angelou (1928-2014)

While I probably still credit Steinbeck and Dickens for sending me down the road to crazy writerville, I must admit that Maya Angelou is the writer who taught me the most about the vivid, colorful way that people talk on the page.

I first read “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” in high school and I loved it so much that it was the first adult book that I actually read twice. If I remember correctly I finished it and started reading it again straight away. It was that good!

Rich, layered, funny, sad and sometimes completely weird, Angelou’s characters (which were mostly based on real people from her life since it was a memoir) and their distinctive voices literally popped off the page. It was, and still is, a truly amazing read.

Even if that was the only thing she’d ever done, something tells me we’d still be celebrating Angelou today. But, luckily for us, Angelou was so much more than a writer and a poet and the bold, fascinating way she lived her life should be an example for us all. There will never be anyone quite like Dr. Maya Angelou. So, thank you for the inspiration, the words and most of all, the priceless life lessons you shared with us along the way. RIP sweet lady…

“A Mother’s Prayer” by Tina Fey

I know this has been all over the internet and Facebook in the past couple of weeks (and even further back than that), but, I just read Tina Fey’s “A Mother’s Prayer” from her book Bossy Pants today. So, it’s new to me. And I gotta tell ya, I laughed out loud more than once at some of the funny-ass shit she says here. Hilarious!

So, if you’re reading this aloud within earshot of your wee ones, makes sure you have some change for your swear jars readily at hand and have at it. Happy Mother’s Day 2013 everyone!

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be beautiful but not damaged, for it’s the damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the the beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the nearby subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock N’ Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from acting but not all the way to finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes. And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the drums to the fiery rhythm of her own heart with the sinewy strength of her own arms, so she need not lie with drummers.

Grant her a rough patch from twelve to seventeen.

Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, for childhood is short — a Tiger Flower blooming magenta for one day – and adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers and the online marketing campaign for “Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.”

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a bitch in front of Hollister, give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, for I will not have that shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 a.m., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a mental note to call me. And she will forget.

But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

Greta’s Bookshelf: “Press Here” by Hervé Tullet

Anyone who has ever been to our place can tell you that we have an s-load of books. There are books in the kitchen, the dining room, the bathroom, and don’t even get me started on the bedrooms. Greta actually has so many kids books in her room that we have to rotate them out.

It’s kinda crazy, but, all three of us love to read (or, in Greta’s case, pretend to read) and re-read our favorite books, so, honestly, I can’t imagine life without them. To tell you the truth, I kinda distrust people with no books in their house. I don’t care if you keep them in the closet, but, you best have some books somewhere if you wanna hang these Yetis.

Anyway, Mrs. Yeti and I started collecting kids books before we even dreamed of having an actual kid. If we found one (or twenty) that we loved, we bought them. And we rarely, if ever, get rid of them. Hell, one look at the bookshelf in Greta’s room and you’ll see that many of the books there were ours when we were kids. Sure, they moved up a few shelves when Greta started eating them as a baby, but, those vintage kids books hold a place of honor in our home and our hearts.

So, whenever we read a new kids book that moves us as much as those old classics did, well, we just have to tell the world about it. So, without further ado, I give you: “Press Here” by Hervé Tullet.

Mrs. Yeti has been selling this book in her store for a while now, but, Greta and I are new converts to the wonders of “Press Here” and let me tell you, it’s a very fun read. I don’t want to give too much away, but, this very creative book is interactive in the extreme.

It all starts with the first page’s simple command to “Press Here” and quicker than you say “Twister: The Novel” you are turning the book on its side, tilting it to the left, then to the right, shaking it really hard and even blowing on the pages at one point. If you don’t have fun reading this book to your kids, you must just hate fun. Seriously, we were cracking up, it’s a very cool read.

And aside from now having an iPhone App, this book is so cool it even has its own trailer on YouTube. Ha! Top that Frog and Toad! Just kidding, I love the Frog and Toad books. My brother and I used to fight over who got to be Frog and who got to be Toad before we started reading them. Yep, he’s a book nerd too. You should see how many books he and his wife have…crazy!

Anyway, if you have a toddler in your house (or even if you don’t!) you must check out this book today. But make room on your shelf first, because, trust me, you’re gonna wanna own this one.

Happy 200th birthday, Mr. Dickens!

I know it was like, two days ago now, but, it’s never too late to celebrate the birth of one of my favorite writers of all time. So, happy belated 200th birthday to Charles Dickens.

I haven’t read nearly as much of his work as I should, but, I will say that Dickens is second only to John Steinbeck in the way he has influenced my writing. Wait…on second thought, John Irving had a pretty big impact on my writing style as well, but, he’s kind of a modern-day Dickens in my book, so, I don’t always count him. Sorry, dude.

Anyway, aside from the many vivid, iconic characters Dickens created over the years, what I love most about his work is that he knew how to milk a story for drama. And like many writers of popular fiction (and some of my favorite fellow screenwriters) Dickens’ work was chided by critics for not being substantial or meaningful, as if writing a really great page turner was some kind of crime. But, lemme tell ya, the complexity and beauty of his strongest stories is truly something to behold.

You can’t just casually flip through Dickens, man, you have to pay attention. To everything! Hell, that’s half the fun of it. The strange names, the larger-than-life characters, the diversions that seem pointless at the time but pay off, sometimes hundreds of pages later in genuinely shocking ways — pay careful attention to that swarthy convict on page seven, dear reader, because he just might turn out to be your secret benefactor on page three-hundred-something! — I mean, love him or hate him, you gotta give Dickens credit for being a master of structure. My head spins just thinking about him outlining something like BLEAK HOUSE…yikes!

And best of all, Dickens didn’t just dazzle us with cool plot twists for the fun or it. No way! These twists and turns of fate had meaning and impact and made us root for his characters even more. I think that’s what makes so many of his books so damn cinematic. There is so much description and beauty and humor and pain and pathos on every page that they literally read like movies.

Oy, I could go on about Charles Dickens for days, but, seeing as I have a toddler to feed and, you know, pay attention to and stuff, so, I’ll stop here. Happy birthday, Mr. Dickens! Ooo, and thanks to Google for the awesome Dickens Google Doodle on Tuesday. So cool!!

Library Karma

OK, so, two weeks ago Greta was manhandling one of her favorite library DVD’s, “Hercules”, and she broke it. Actually, more like, cracked it in half. That’s right, DVD’s crack and even break, especially old-ass rental DVD’s from the library. Who knew?

So, what did I do when I took it back? Like all good parents I pulled out the cracked “Hercules” DVD and told the smiling woman at the loan desk that I wasn’t sure if it was broken when we got it or if we did it ourselves, but, in any case, the DVD was unplayable. I know I should have just told her the truth, especially with my daughter half-watching me while I did it, but, hey, I didn’t wanna have to buy a new one for the library, so, I lied.

And guess what happened? Nothing! The librarian told me that this kind of thing happens all the time and that she’d put a sticker on it saying that it was already broken when I got it. Whew…in a perfect world, that would have been the end of the story. And it was…until yesterday when I returned a heaping pile of DVD’s to the library only to learn that they were three days late and that I owed a whopping $12.00 in library fees! TWELVE DOLLARS!

For only two more dollars I could have bought a new copy of “Hercules” on DVD at Amazon. Wow…karma really is a bitch. Lesson learned, Library Gods, I will not lie to you again…