I need another plate…

Ever have those days or weeks when you think you just have too much on your plate? Well, I think I’m having one of those months. The heat wave is killing me, I’m feeling totally scattered and unfocused on the work front — lots of waiting to hear back from people, time delays, blah, blah, blah — Greta is going through a very defiant stage, the holidays are suddenly very real and in definite need of planning, and worst of all, the cat peed on our new bed. Yes, we finally bought a new bed last month and it’s been awesome, you know, except for when the cats pees on it.

In Nigella’s defense (that’s the cat, BTW) she’s had a lot of houseguests the past two weeks and this week there’s a dog in the house too, so, I’m thinking she felt the need to mark her terrority or something. But, man, finding that pee on he bed about an hour before we were thinking of heading to bed was not fun. Even less fun was heading to the laundromat with a pee-soaked comforter, duvet cover and sheet set at 11:30PM. Urgh…at least the place wasn’t crowded, and, they do have really speedy WiFi, so, I got to write most of this post there, which was kinda awesome. But, come on, cat, can’t you pee somewhere easier to clean?! Yikes…

Oh yeah, and on top of all that, the debates really bummed me out. Sorry, but they did. Normally, I try not to get too political here, but, WTF, man?! Obama looked like a zombie! I know he’s busy and shit, but, come on, dude, pick up the pace. Smile a little, laugh, look lively! Urgh…he was like the ghost of Nixon up there. Sure, Obama had (most of) his facts straight, but Romney looked like a freaking movie star, and nobody cares about facts when you’re squaring off against a movie star. Even Romney’s tie was better. I mean, the dude was glowing.

All I know is that Obama is gonna have to really step up his game if he’s gonna seal this deal. Which means I have one more thing to worry about. Urgh, somebody wake me up when it’s all over.

Oooo, speaking of sleep, gotta run, my pee sheets are done…

Inappropriate Elimination

Ever had one of those weeks where you have a bunch of people coming into town or some big event or just a bunch of stuff happening in a few days and instead of doing anything useful until those days arrive…you totally waste every waking minute not doing anything constructive? Like you’ve got so much shit to do that you can’t decide what to do first, so, you check Facebook instead? Well, that’s what this past week has been like for me.

I cleaned up the house after the Oscar party on Monday, introduced Greta to the multi-cultural thrills of Mexican Lotería on Tuesday, and mourned Davy Jones on Wednesday — seriously, aside from a trip to the park, that’s kinda all I did today — and now, with the first of several houseguests arriving sometime tomorrow, I have tons of crap to do and no time. Oh well, at least the house is clean. Kinda. Well, lets just say it’s clean enough for the houseguest we have staying with us first.

Anyway, in the midst of all this craziness we bought a new cat box for our woefully-neglected cat, Nigella. Not thinking anything of it, I chucked the old litter box in the garbage on garbage day, so, it was gone, like, permanently, before I realized that Nigella hates and will not use her shiny new litter box. Not only did she shit on the carpet (twice), but Greta and I actually watched her pee on the rug behind the kitchen table while we played Lotería. WTF, cat?!!

I’m sorry, but, I went off on that poor kitty. In case P.E.T.A. or the SPCA is reading, I won’t go into details, but, there was a lot of kitty nose rubbing in piss and swearing going on. Greta, of course, found the entire episode hilarious and only stopped laughing long enough to remind me that I was using several of the very worst words on our “bad words” list. Oy…what a night. And then, of course, I couldn’t sleep. Every noise I heard sounded like an angry, abused cat pissing on my laptop bag or the fancy blue chair in the living room. So, I turned to Google.

Turns out there is a term for a cat not using their litter box, it’s called “inappropriate elimination”. And the experts agree that the best way to avoid inappropriate elimination is to place your new cat box side by side with the old one until the cat transitions over. Of course, that makes perfect sense. But, as I mentioned above, our old cat box was halfway to the recycling center before I realized I still needed it. Lucky me.

I know it sounds mean, but, my patience for kitty potty drama — or kitty drama of any kind, if I’m being honest — is pretty much non-existent since Greta came along. It’s terrible, I know, but, I just don’t have the time or energy to monitor one more living thing. Urgh…poor, Nigella. Life will get better for you when Greta gets older, I promise.

Anyway, just this morning, the cat finally used her box for the first time. Greta was thrilled: “Look, Daddy, Nigella made a big poopy in her box!” And I was relieved, but, still a little suspicious. So, all I can do now is keep our valuables off the floor, make sure Greta’s bedroom door is always closed, and pray that the cat doesn’t inappropriately eliminate on any of us while we sleep.

Like I said, it’s been a long week…