Beck: “Morning Phase”

Alright, at first I thought this whole Kayne West vs. Beck at the Grammys thing was kind of funny and just further proof of what a total fucking idiot Mr. West really is. But after spending just about every waking minute since Sunday night listening and re-listening to Morning Phase — which I got for Christmas and is already right up there with Mutations and Sea Change as one of my favorite Beck albums of all time — I’m done thinking it’s funny. And actually, I’m kinda pissed.

Morning Phase is a gorgeous, shimmering piece of folksy pop/rock perfection. Seriously, I want to just close my eyes and dive into some of those songs, this is Beck on overdrive and this album is freaking glorious on every level. And for anyone, anywhere to even remotely suggest that this lush, sensual album for the ages is in any way not Grammy-worthy is just fucking crazy. Yeah, I know, I dropped two F-bombs in one blog post, sue me.

The other thing that really irks me is that Beyoncé (who, by the way, is totally blameless here. It’s not her fault Kayne is an asshat!) already has a staggering 20 Grammys to her name. In fact, she is the most nominated female artist in Grammy history and the second most honored female artist at the Grammys like, ever. Trust me, Sasha Fierce don’t need no more Grammys.

By comparison, Beck has won six career Grammys. Six! When Star Wars: Episode VII opens this May there will be more Star Wars movies than Grammys with the name Beck on them in the world. And as much as I love me some Star Wars, that is just plain crazy.

So, even though this will cost me another quarter in the swear jar at home, I gotta say it: go fuck yourself, Kanye! Whew, I feel so much better. Thanks. Now, if you haven’t already checked out 2014’s Album of the Year, get stepping. It’s amazing!

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BB Comics on “Big Brother 16”

Just when I thought that our beloved summer TV trashfest Big Brother couldn’t get any more weird and totally geeky, they introduced comic books to the mix. That’s right, amigos, Wednesday nights’s Veto Competition revolved around the houseguests trying to remember the exact order of a series of specially designed BB Comic books featuring hilarious artist renderings of the cast.

The covers were so cool, in fact, that rather just tell you about them, I decided to post them here as well. So, enjoy! Oh, and in case you were wondering, I’m kinda partial to “The Beard,” but, what I’d really love to see is a Chenbot comic book! Talk about suitable for framing…wow!

 

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Date Night TV: “Big Brother 15”

OK, even if I wasn’t currently working for an aviation-themed magazine, I would still think the new “have not” bedroom on Big Brother 15 is freaking ingenious. Yes, we watch Big Brother, like, religiously. It’s one of the only shows that made the cut when Greta was born, and even if we have to stay up way after she’s gone to bed to catch up on some not safe for kids episodes (especially this season, which is already off to a homophobic, racially-charged start!) we’ll do it.

For those of you not familiar with the show, randomly selected contestants called houseguests are picked to live in a house where their every move is taped all day for the entire summer. Their only contact with the outside world is with the lovely Julie Chen — who fans affectionately refer to as “The Chenbot” for her alluringly robotic demeanor — who appears on the show once a week for a live elimination episode.

Aside from arguing, drinking and running around half-naked in the backyard, each week contestants compete for all sorts of insane food prizes and something called “Head of Household”, which means they get to sleep in a fancy private bedroom upstairs and nominate two houseguests for eviction during their reign. Meanwhile, the rest of the houseguests compete to see which of them will be “haves” and eat normal food for the week, and which will be “have nots” and eat something called slop (which looks like really grey oatmeal) for the week.

Another awful thing the “have not” houseguests must endure during their week is a stay in the “have not” bedroom. In past seasons, “have nots” have slept on cots or even the floor, but, this year, the BB producers have outdone themselves with an aviation-themed “have not” bedroom that utilizes actual airplane seats for beds. Ha!

The room also features stacked suitcases in lieu of dressers and airplane-style overhead storage bins for anything else the “have nots” might want to stow during their stay. Hilarious! Luckily, it looks like the armrests on the chairs do fold up, so, at least there’s that.

But if you’re like me and the concept of sleeping on airplane seats for a couple of hours makes your back hurt. Just imagine how jacked up you’d be after an entire week of fetal position side sleeping. Urgh…I’ll take the floor, thank you.

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Location:Burbank, CA

Fall TV 2012: Winners & Losers

Most people look forward to watching the new fall shows like, the minute they air. My Mom actually writes the air dates down in her datebook, so she can remember to watch. Yes, she still has a datebook, but, mostly because she’s an esthetician. Anyway, in year’s past I Tivo-ed like, every new show and watched them all right away. But, that’s been a little harder to do with Greta in the picture.

I mean, sure, I still Tivo everything. I just don’t get around to watching it until weeks, sometimes months later. That said, here is my very belated list of the best and worst of the new fall shows. Enjoy!

The Best New Shows

Ben & Kate (FOX):

Oddly enough, my favorite new show has my least favorite title of all time. I mean, seriously, does it not sound like that horrific Jon & Kate Plus 8 show? Yikes! You couldn’t have thought of a better title for a sweetly funny show about an adult brother and sister living together with her young daughter? Anyway, ignore the title and watch the show. It’s beautifully written and hilariously funny. We love it!

The Mindy Project (FOX):

Although I’m still on the fence a little with this one, I do love the cast and the writing is terrific. And how cool to see a female lead that isn’t a perfect freaking stick figure! Go, Mindy!

Made In Jersey (CBS):

I know what you’re thinking. First: You watched that? And the answer is: “Yes, I did and I loved it.” And secondly: Didn’t that show just get cancelled? Again, sadly, the answer is “Yes.” But, let me tell ya, the lead actress, the stunning UK import Janet Montgomery is destined to be a star. Seriously, I got goosebumps the first time she was onscreen. I haven’t seen someone with that much star-wattage to burn since Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping. Jersey might be gone, but, mark my words, Montgomery will be around for a while.

Go On (NBC):

Mrs. Yeti fell in love with this show immediately, but, it took me a little longer to warm up to it. But, now that I have, I cannot wait to watch it every week. The cast is great, the writing is crisp, heartfelt and original and I gotta tell ya, I’m a sucker for therapy groups in movies and TV shows. Be it the darker skewing therapy scenes in Fight Club or the hilarious, angry women’s group scenes in About a Boy, people sitting in a circle contemplating life is comedy gold in my book!

And now, for the worst new shows. As you can see, they totally outnumber the good shows this season. Which is fine by me, I mean, I’m just glad I didn’t get hooked on more dramas since one hour shows are so much harder to watch with Greta running around the living room. Whew!

The Worst New Shows

Revolution (NBC):

Total crap from start to finish, this show feels like it was put together by a freaking computer. “Insert Plot Device A, add a little bit of Movie B and TV Show C, then stir vigorously.” Yikes! And I know it shouldn’t matter, but, even the cast is dumpy. Sorry, but, they are. And that main girl, oy, don’t get me started. Why she is still on TV and my sweet-faced Janet Montgomery is not is a riddle for the ages.

The Neighbors (ABC):

All I can say about this crapfest is: WTF?! Seriously, I want the twenty minutes I spent watching this hopelessly-dated, terribly-unfunny aliens-next-door show back. When it was all over, I actually felt kinda bad for Jami Gertz and I usually hate her in anything. Run, Jami, run!

Partners (CBS):

I was really looking forward to this one and it was disappointing on every level. I mean, the pilot was almost unwatchable. Wait, we stopped watching halfway through, so, I guess that makes it all the way unwatchable. Either way, Partners is a total bomb filled with really annoying characters that will drive you up a wall. Literally!

The New Normal (NBC):

Speaking of annoying characters, this might just be the worst thing Glee creator Ryan Murphy — the king of smug, topical humor that will age as gracefully as Glee has. Which means very badly! — has ever unleashed on the public. There is nothing new or normal about this show and frankly I’m surprised the gay community isn’t picketing the crap out of this mess. Yikes!

Guys With Kids (NBC):

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of picketing shows. I’d like to start a movement to picket this piece o-crap pronto and I’m not just saying that because I’m a stay-at-home-dad. I really expected this show to be better, I mean, come on, Jimmy Fallon is one of the producers! I don’t know what happened, but, the episodes I’ve watched are not about guys or kids. Again, it’s like some marketing flunkie at NBC came up with the poster and the title and then hired people to write the show and fill in the blanks. Urgh…a total trainwreck!

Nashville (ABC):

We waited for this show for a month and lemme tell ya, it was not worth the wait. The music was great and I loved seeing all the real-life Nashville locales featured in the pilot (long live The Bluebird Cafe, whoo-hoo!) but by the thirty-minute mark this show was dragging big time. It could improve over time, but, sadly, time is not something a parent of a toddler has, so, for now, Nashville has left the building. Or, um, you know…our Tivo Season Pass.

And finally, I want to give a heads up to some of the shows that don’t really fall into either category. They were good enough to watch once or twice (and maybe revisit, now that Made in Jersey bit the dust) but, I don’t know if I’d Tivo them on a regular basis. That said, all of the shows listed below are worth checking out if you have the time.

Good Enough to Watch Once

Last Resort (ABC):

I initially Tivo-ed this show because a buddy of mine from The American Mall is in it. She was fantastic in both of the episodes I watched — Autumn plays the ruthless nuclear submarine designer desperately trying to save her “baby” from destruction — and so was the rest of the top-notch cast. The biggest problem I had was that the show’s mythology is already, at just a few episodes in, a little thick for my taste. I mean, I’m all for a good geeky mythology, but, I don’t know if I wanna invest in something that dense right now. Sorry, guys, but, the show is still very good. So, rock on!

666 Park Avenue (ABC):

I know a lot of people didn’t like this show from the get-go, but, I gotta tell ya, again, it all boils down to the hot chick in the lead role. Just kidding. Kinda. But, the lead character here is the plucky, ever-resourceful Rachael Taylor and, well, she’s really pretty and really smart and I’m kinda worried about what kind of trouble she’ll find as she digs deeper into the mystery of this spooky old Manhattan apartment building. So, if you’re along for the ride (like me!) you might dig it. But be forewarned, this show is definitely not for kids. Way too scary!

Elementary (CBS):

Of all the shows I sampled this is the one I think I might reconsider adding to our Season Pass. Lucy Liu, as always, is fantastic and the guy who plays Sherlock Holmes (Jonny Lee Miller) is much better than I expected him to be considering his lackluster movie performances of later. I mean, really, could he have looked worse in Dark Shadows? Egads! The show is light, entertaining and, well, did I mention that I have a thing for Lucy Lui? Definitely worth watching!

And that’s it. Sadly, we don’t have the greatest cable set-up, so, we don’t get to watch all the fancy cable shows like Homeland and Boardwalk Empire. But, quicker than you can say library, the DVD’s will be on the shelves of ours. And lord knows we love our library…so, we’ll catch up then!

Dying to hear what new shows you guys are watching, so, fire away.