Tag Archives: daytime TV

Stay-at-home-Yeti on “Ricki Lake” today!

If you needed further proof that the Mayans were right and that the world really is ending today, look no further than this. Roughly four months after it was taped, myself and Mrs. Yeti will be appearing on today’s episode of “The Ricki Lake Show”. That’s right, the episode we never thought would air is finally seeing the light of day!

I’ll fill you in on all the behind-the-scenes drama later, but, for now, just wanted to give you time to set your Tivos and pop up some popcorn before the big show. I’m kidding, of course. Our appearance is so brief — Mrs. Yeti and I are shoehorned into the final segment on stay-at-home-dads — that if you blink, you’ll miss it. Seriously, it goes by really fast, so, keep your eyes peeled!

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So not ready for my close-up…

So, today was kinda strange. After several weeks of back-and-forth discussions, Mrs. Yeti and I were invited to appear on a daytime talk show today. I can’t say which one, because it has not started airing yet, but, the experience was completely surreal. The production staff and producers were amazing, the green room was kind of awesome (yep, we got to hang out in our own green room) and the host was very cool.

But, quicker than you can say, “Good morning, Baltimore!”, it was over. It was so weird. I mean, we had been exchanging phone calls with the show’s producers and prepping for the show for weeks. Hell, my brother even made a day-in-the-life video for us, which, sadly, will probably not be used on the show. But, hey, we had fun making it, and someday it will be an incredible time capsule of this crazy period in our lives. So, there’s always that. But after all this build-up, I guess I just thought the actual experience of being on the show would last longer. Alas, it did not.

Oh, and get this, while we were getting ready this morning, I was rushing to trim my beard and failed to check the length setting before applying the razor to my face. And guess what happened? Yep, I carved a giant hole in the left side of my beard. And it was big, the kind you can’t cover up with make-up or fancy lighting. So, the rest of my face would have to be trimmed to match the hole. The only problem was that my razor was out of charge and we were already running late.

So, I threw my razor in our bag and we hit the road with the upper half of my face shaved and the lower half not. I’m sure it was a lovely site. And perfect timing too. I mean, nothing like shaving off half your beard roughly two hours before you are set to appear on national TV. Who doesn’t love making radical changes to their looks right before a major event? Urgh…

And on top of all that, the clothes I brought to wear on the show (we each had to bring three or four outfits for them to check out) were vetoed and I ended up wearing a shirt they bought for me. Oh, that’s right, I forgot to mention the part where they called us last week and asked us for all of our clothing and shoe sizes. They asked us to describe our teeth too, which seemed odd, but hey, you do what you gotta do when Hollywood comes calling.

Anyway, the shirt was fine, it was kind of a retro bowling polo, you know, the kind Guy Fieri wears all the time. Which is cool and everything, but, it is definitely not how I normally dress, and when you couple that with the khakis I wore and my newly shorn beard, well, I felt like the freaking King of Queens or something. Nothing against Kevin James. Seriously, I love the dude. But, I have always thought he’d look way better with a beard. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me.

So, I was nervous, totally uncomfortable with how I looked and definitely with what I was wearing — Mrs. Yeti had it much worse, she actually had a top-to-bottom outfit change that left her looking like a bank teller, but, she still looked beautiful in my book —  and on top of all that, I was sweating like a pig. Anyone who knows me knows that I often sweat like a pig, but, when I’m nervous, whoa…it’s a hundred times worse.

Luckily the make-up crew was there to powder out my sheen at every turn and I ended up looking pretty decent by the time the cameras started rolling. But, after that, I don’t remember a thing. Literally! We came “back from the break”, the host chatted up some other SAHD’s on the stage and then said that there was another SAHD in the audience who she had a couple of questions for. That was me. I remember the host heading over, asking me to stand, shoving the microphone in my face and that was it. I kid you not, I went totally blank. I remember bits and pieces of things I said, and I remember Mrs. Yeti standing up and adding her two cents, but, the rest is a total blur. Crazy, huh?

And then it was over. We gave back our borrowed clothes, thanked the wonderful support staff behind the scenes — I’m not kidding, I have been on a lot of movie and TV sets and that team rocked! — grabbed a couple of waters from the basket on the table in our green room and left. Four hours never flew by so fast.

Luckily for us, my brother and sister-in-law were with us every step of the way. They sat with us in the green room before and in the audience during the entire taping, so, keep your eye out for a dude in a tan jacket and a sassy Asian chick in shiny shoes when the show airs! Anyway, they told me what I said and didn’t say during the taping, which helped. But, I guess I won’t really know how lame or cool (or both!) I looked until the show airs, which, like I said above, has not been determined.

Whew…so, that was our day. I’d love to tell you more about what we discussed and why we were chosen for the show in the first place, but, for now, all I can say is that our episode concerned families. I’ll fill you in on all the other juicy, behind-the-scenes details when I am at liberty to do so. Stay tuned for further updates…

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Quote of the day: Tia Mowry

OK, let me start by saying that I absolutely loathe Tia and Tamera Mowry — those crazy-annoying twins from that crazy-annoying TV show Sister, Sister — so, I was kinda surprised when Tia said something even remotely interesting (and relevant to my current gig as a SAHD) on The Nate Berkus Show today. Yes, I watch Nate Berkus sometimes. Mostly to fill the gaping hole in my life since Oprah left the basic cable airwaves. So sad…

Anyway, Mr. Berkus was interviewing Tia and he asked her if motherhood was what she expected it to be. You know, total softball, standard daytime-TV question. But her response was surprisingly honest, especially coming from a fake-ass robot like her. Sorry, even if I totally agree with her…I still kinda hate her. Anyway, this is how Tia Mowry answered Nate’s question:

“I’m gonna be honest, I’m gonna be real. The lows are a lot lower than I expected, I mean, I am so exhausted, I am always on auto-pilot. But the highs are a lot higher than I expected [too]. I have so much love for my son, he is my motivation.”

Wow, nicely put, Sister, um, Sister. I feel your lows and your highs!

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Long live, Judge Allred!

OK, so, she’s not really a judge, but, man alive, does that crackpot Gloria Allred knows how to get people’s attention. Most of us know Allred from her long time career as an ambulance-chasing “celebrity lawyer” — she’s the one who takes on all the juicy, high-profile cases now that Johnny Cochran’s dead — but what you might not know is that she also has a totally awesome daytime TV show called We The People With Gloria Allred.

I know what you’re thinking: who needs another lame court room show, right? Well, I thought so too. Actually, I usually loathe court TV shows — have you seen the new The People’s Court? Oy, I wanna punch that show in the face. Not just the judge, the whole show! — but Allred and her savvy producers won this lonely SAHD over on one viewing. And the reason is simple. Unlike so many of the bad court shows on the air today, People focuses on the cases, not the judge. And the result is truly inspired hilarity.

I’m not kidding, man, the cases on this show put the “C” in crazy. And don’t get me started on the litigants. Yikes! I did a little research and it turns out that the litigants are actors reading transcripts from actual cases. A casting call I found for the show made it very clear that they will not, under any circumstances, hire “Union” actors so, not only does that save the producers money, but, it also means that they are using some truly awful actors. So awful, in fact, that I am this close to putting a Season Pass for the show on our Tivo. Yep, it’s that bad/good.

For instance, today’s show featured a taxi driver suing a drunk girl for throwing up in the front seat of his cab and destroying all his electronics. She said he was driving badly and that that is what made her sick, but, you could tell she was a lush (kinda slutty too, sorry, but, she was) and well, I’ll let you guess who ended buying who a new smartphone, XM Radio and GPS system.

And last week there was a birthday party magician suing a mother for making him wait too long in the garage before the party. He was the big birthday surprise for her son and he arrived early for the gig so she stashed him and his props in the sweltering garage for over an hour. So, when the magician finally got around to the pulling-a-rabbit-out-of-his-hat-trick at the party, his rabbit was dead. The mother was counter-suing for emotional distress for all the screaming, traumatized kids at the party, and guess what, dead rabbit aside, she won!

But I think my favorite recent case involved the Silver Lake hipsters (the show is shot here in L.A.) who were suing their hipster cleaning lady for letting their beloved pet pig escape while she was cleaning. The cleaning lady said the pig was desperate for freedom after being forced to live in the city and actually trampled over her as she tried to catch him. Awesome! That one was so good I think I taped it for Mrs. Yeti to watch later. Allred sided with the crazy couple on that case and made the poor vegan cleaning lady pay for the lost pig. Boo!

Anyway, if I haven’t hooked you with these crazy case descriptions yet, then maybe We the People isn’t for you. But, if you like your court room drama on the wacky side, then, check this show out! Oh, and make sure and catch the brief Allred backstory in the opening credits, she makes herself sound like Dolores Huerta or some shit, breaking glass ceilings left and right on her way to the top. Hilarious! Preening self-promotion never sounded so good.

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