Belated Oscar Night Rundown

Seeing as the Academy Awards aired like, weeks ago, by now you’ve probably watched and/or read all the post-Oscar coverage you can handle, but, for those of you still dying to know what I thought of the show (I know you’re out there!) well, here goes nothing…

First off, a little backstory on why it’s taken me so long to get to this. The simple answer is that Greta’s birthday usually falls one or two weeks after the Oscars. Which means that unless the Academy moves the show to an earlier date in the year, we will be hosting two parties on two subsequent weekends for the rest of our lives. Urgh! And seeing as this past birthday was Greta’s fifth and was attended not just by a dozen or so of her new preschool friends, but also by their siblings and parents…well, let’s just say that party planning in the Yeti household has gotten exponentially more complicated.

I’m not saying it wasn’t fun and that Mrs. Yeti and I don’t genuinely enjoy planning parties for Greta (because we totally do!) but, as any harried parent can tell you, putting together a DIY kid’s birthday party, Princess-themed or otherwise, for your child can be hugely stressful for all involved. Most especially for the “royal couple” putting the whole shebang together in the first place.

Anyway, Greta’s party was awesome (I’ll post some highlight pics very soon, I promise!) and now that our party season is over I’m finally free to give you my thoughts on what I think just might have been the perfect Oscar telecast. I know lots of people had problems with the show, but, hell, I even thought Ellen was good this time around. And, considering my checkered past with that old union-busting scab, that’s really saying something!

Contrary to what critics have been saying, I thought DeGeneres was funny, entertaining and refreshingly edgy in spots. Her “Liza Minnelli impersonator” bit was hilarious, and that pizza delivery and A-list selfie stuff is already the stuff of Oscar legend. Classic! I also loved her opening joke about voters being racist if they didn’t vote for 12 Years a Slave. The movie was beautifully done and definitely worthy of every award it won, but, truer words were never spoken. Hilarious! And the rest of the winners this year were equally awesome.

The fact that Gravity lost the Best Picture trophy to 12 Years a Slave nonewithstanding, it was still very cool to see two of my favorite writer/directors, Alfonso Cuarón and Spike Jonze, pick up some long overdue hardware. And with history-making wins for people of color in several of the major categories, it was perhaps the most colorblind Oscar telecast ever as well!

Aside from becoming the youngest member in the exclusive EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) club on Sunday night, Frozen composer Robert Lopez also became the first Filipino-American Oscar winner. And though my personal loathing of 12 Years a Slave screenwriter John Ridley dates back to the trash-talking he did during the WGA strike in 2008, I have to admit, I was happy to see him become the second African-American screenwriter to win an Oscar, after Geoffrey Fletcher’s historic win for penning Precious.

Also very cool was the fact that Emmanuel Lubezki, the Mexican cinematographer who shot Gravity, and has been nominated seven times (seven times!!) for his gorgeous work on such modern classics as A Little Princess, Children of Men and The Tree of Life, finally took home the gold. And the fact that he won against such beautifully shot films as The Grandmaster and the breathtaking B&W cinematography in Nebraska, makes Lubezki’s triumphant win all the more sweet. Rock on, hermano!

I also loved the fact that the awards were so evenly spread across the field of nominees, with movies like Gatsby and Dallas Buyers Club winning richly-deserved craft awards and 12 Years a Slave helmer, Steve McQueen, taking home an Oscar (and making Oscar history again as the first African-American director to win gold!) for his producing work on the film. The show gets tedious very quickly when the same movie sweeps every category, so, it was fun to see so many different movies bringing home the gold this year.

In fact, I think the only major nominee to go home empty-handed was American Hustle. And while I was sorry the academy couldn’t find some way to honor David O. Russell for his bad-ass work co-writing and directing Hustle, if indie-spirited filmmakers like Spike Jonze and Alfonso Cuarón can win Oscars, then, surely Mr. Russell’s day in the limelight is just around the corner. Same goes with Amy Adams, who, in my opinion can do no wrong onscreen. Her work in American Hustle is almost insanely perfect. So good!

That said, I was thrilled to see Cate Blanchett pick up her second Oscar for Blue Jasmine. Despite what people might say about Woody Allen’s tangled personal life, he is doing some of the best work of his career at the moment and, considering his resume, that is really saying something! And Blanchett’s work in Jasmine is some of the finest she’s ever done too. Man, she nailed it!

It was also very cool to see the hugely-popular Frozen pick up two awards. Even if you don’t have a five-year-old running around singing “Let it Go” all day long, you’ve gotta admit, that movie rocked. And even cooler than the fact that Frozen became the first straight-up Walt Disney Studios release to win Best Animated Feature (to date, Pixar has collected most of the trophies in that category) was the fact that presenter John Travolta provided us with an Oscar moment for the ages when he mispronounced Idina Menzel’s name when introducing her.

I don’t know what kind of crazy OT go-go juice that dude was drinking before the show, but his verbal f-up was freaking hysterical and already ranks up there with Jack Palance’s post-win push-ups and Björk’s swan dress as one of the top ten best Oscar moments ever. I mean, seriously, you can’t script that kind of crazy! So awesome!

Anyway, dying to hear what you guys thought of this year’s winners, losers, crazy presenters (yeah, I’m talking to you, Harrison Ford and Kim Novak!) and the show in general, so, by all means, comment away! And in the meantime, please feel free to enjoy these pics of the nominee-themed snacks we served at our very low-key Oscar party this year. My favorites, as always, were the golden Funyuns for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, but those spicy Asian chicken wings served on a Chairman Mao dinner plate in honor of The Grandmaster were pretty damn tasty too.

Either way, enjoy!

Disney Princess LEGOS

Just when you thought LEGO had reached the pinnacle of coolness with the recent release of their fanboy-tastic “Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit” LEGO playsets, they take things even further by adding the Disney Princesses to the mix as well.

That’s right, brick lovers, the Disney Princess LEGO sets are here. And though several of the bigger name Disney Princesses like Snow White, Cinderella and Ariel have appeared in hugely-popular DUPLO playsets over the years, this is the first time Disney royalty has appeared in a “big kid” LEGO set and the results are freaking awesome.

Seriously, even if I didn’t have a Disney Princess-loving daughter, I would want some of these sets. Beautifully detailed with rich, subtle colors you don’t often find in the LEGO universe, the sets are far cooler than you’d expect, especially considering how totally lame and borderline sexist the company’s previous girl-themed efforts have been.

I mean, no offense to the toothy lasses in the LEGO Friends collection, but, girls can do much more than run an ice cream shoppe, beauty parlor and/or brush their horse’s plastic hair all day long. Say what you will about Barbie, but at least she has career ambitions, while even the best of the LEGO Friends sets feel a marketing scheme that never really took off.

Whereas the new Disney Princess LEGOS are so cool and character-specific that they actually breathe new life into a franchise that most parents I know feel has lost a little steam in recent years. And, by focusing on the strengths and unique skills/talents of each of the Princesses featured in the LEGO sets, the powers that be present girl characters that, you know, actually do things.

The Merida set highlights her archery skills, Rapunzel’s set focuses on her skills as an artist and even Ariel — who many consider to be the most offensive and weak-willed of the bunch — gets a chance to focus on her skills as a “collector of human artifacts” in one of her two LEGO sets. OK, maybe that’s a stretch, but, it’s better than nothing.

But the biggest surprise of all comes in the largest, showiest set in the series, Cinderella’s Romantic Castle. If you ask me, Cinderella was always the first truly modern-skewing of the Disney Princesses, but, rather than showcasing her skills at sewing and cleaning (both of which she obviously excelled at) Cinderella’s LEGO set goes out of its way to highlight her cheeky sense of humor by sneaking all sorts of hidden treasures into the castle. Her bed features a “secret drawer” containing a mysterious envelope (a souvenir invite from the Royal ball that started it all perhaps?) and another “secret room” upstairs hides a treasure chest behind a door that is only opened by a key hidden behind a trick bookcase downstairs. Forget romance, this castle is downright magical!

And in case you were wondering how long it takes to construct a 646 piece LEGO castle, I can tell you from experience — Greta got the castle from her Grandma Linda for Christmas — it takes forever. Just kidding. I didn’t actually log the hours, but, it took us a good two or three days to do it right. But, Greta and I had a blast building it and luckily, all of the big new LEGO sets come with very detailed instructions, so, we had lots of help.

And with my new “Lord of the Rings” Battle at the Black Gate LEGO set (yep, Santa heard my pleas as well!) due to start construction sometime this weekend, I forsee much cross-movie franchise bloodshed and turmoil in the land of LEGOS. Poor Cinderella will never know what hit her!

Disney Princess Leia

I know I’m a little late on the bandwagon here, but, it suddenly occurred to me today that because of the gazillion dollar deal George Lucas made with Disney that Princess Leia is now officially a Disney Princess! How cool is that? In other totally rad Star Wars news, Disney has hired a writer (Little Miss Sunshine Oscar-winner Michael Arndt) to script Episode Seven, so, they are really hitting the ground running with this next trilogy of movies! Awe-some, huh?

Anyway, back to Princess Leia. Greta was so thrilled to hear about Leia’s ascension to the ranks of the Disney Princesses that she actually dug out her old Princess Leia doll (one of the first Barbie-sized dolls we gave her when she was born) and started playing with her again. Man, talk about the power of Disney marketing!

And while her Princess Leia doll did not score an invite to what looked to be the Barbie wedding of the century in Greta’s bedroom this afternoon, she is floating around near the top of the Barbie bin, so, there’s always hope (or…A New Hope…get it?) that Leia will get played with a lot more now that she’s part Disney. So, yay for her!

Life of Dad’s “Part of your World”

Just heard about an awesome site called Life of Dad, which is a social networking site for, you guessed it, Dads! Very cool. But, where were you guys when I was pulling out my hair that first very long, very lonely year “on the job”? Hmmm. Either way, I’m glad you’re here now and I can’t wait to explore your rocking site some more.

That said, you guys gotta check out the latest clip from their site. Greta and I have been watching the hell out of it this week and it hasn’t gotten old yet. But, this is the same kid who watched the library’s copy of Hercules so many times that it actually broke…so, you never know.

Either way, the clip is hilarious. Especially if you’ve sung this song aloud (among others!) as many times as I have over the past three-and-a-half years. Enjoy!

Sick Day

Urgh…I dunno if it was all the dance recital craziness last week or the fact that it’s been hotter than hell outside, but I woke up in the middle of the night on Monday in a cold sweat. By morning, I was sweaty and achy all over with a headache that just would not die. Thankfully, no fluids were being expelled from anywhere, but, man, I have never felt more tired, thirsty, and just plain old worn out.

And as I lay there in bed with Greta kicking me to get up, all I could think of was that now I knew what movie stars and musicians talk about when they are hospitalized for “exhaustion” or “dehydration”. I was like: “Wow, that’s a real thing. And all this time I thought Lindsey Lohan was making that shit up!” Nope. It’s real. I’ve been there and, man, does it suck. Especially with a toddler.

Actually, Greta was very supportive. When I told her I was sick, the first thing she did was look at me all concerned-like and say: “You need medicine, Daddy?” I nodded, and then she got really excited and ran out of the room to get some of “Greta’s medicine!” I followed her to the kitchen where she was standing on her stool trying her best to reach the Disney Princess Gummy Vitamins on top of the fridge. It was terribly sweet, but, somehow I knew that chomping on a purple gummy Jasmine was not going to be enough to cure me.

So, I made Greta something to eat, somehow sold her on the idea of having a “picnic day” in daddy and mommy’s bed and popped a movie into her portable DVD player. And, as terrible as that sounds, that was how we got through most of the day. Me drifting in and out of feverish dreams and her sitting on a pillow beside me watching The Princess and the Frog for the sixteenth time. I know, nice parenting. But, seriously, what is a sick SAHD to do?

Luckily, for both of us, there is a Mrs. Yeti, and she came home early from work. And then she took Greta to IKEA for dinner and some play area fun upstairs while daddy slept off his movie star sickness amidst the crumbs and sweat in the picnic bed.

I’m feeling loads better now, but, I did learn three very valuable lessons during my brief stint in fevertown. The first is that two-parent households have it way easier. Honestly, I don’t know how single parents do this job alone. I just don’t. It’s way too hard. So, single parents of the world, consider yourselves saluted! God bless each and every one of you.

The second thing I learned is that kids eat free at IKEA on Tuesdays. Wow, who knew? And finally, the third and possibly most important lesson I learned this week is that picnic day in daddy and mommy’s bed is a horrible idea. Seriously, our bed look like a crime scene and we just did laundry. So, until we venture to the laundomat again, all I can do is close my eyes, plug my nose, and pray that those hideous brown streaks on my pillow are from Nutella.

“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!”

After months of talking about it, weeks of seriously trying and loads of rewards, big and small, Greta finally took her first poo in the big girl potty a couple of days ago. I could say it was due to our gentle nurturing touch or us letting her decide when she was ready and not rushing her into potty training, but, the fact is, she did it for a horse.

Yep, contrary to what all the books and so-called experts say, in our case, bribery and rewards totally worked. Frustrated with how slowly things were progressing, Mrs. Yeti printed up a Disney Princess rewards chart, bought an s-load of shiny gold star stickers and got serious. If Greta pulled down her own diaper, she got a star. Washed her hands, another star. Sat on the toilet for a while and even contemplated going, yet another star. And when she actually used the toilet, well, that was usually good for at least a couple of stars and a small reward. To make the rewards a little more interesting, we raided the dollar bins at Target the week before for cheapie gifts that we knew she’d want, you know, Disney Fairy pens and shit, nothing too crazy.

But the grand prize, the big reward for using the big girl potty for Numero Dos, was Maximus, the badass horse from the movie Tangled. And let me tell ya, having a cool prize like that sitting in a box on the shelf in her bedroom worked wonders. She talked about her prize and what she had to do to win it for weeks and then things got even more heated when my Mom moved the horse to the bathroom last week during her visit. Now, every time Greta sat on the toilet she would be forced to stare at that beautiful white stallion just waiting to be played with. Truth be told, we were all forced to look at Maximus every time we used the bathroom, but, he has really pretty hair and he makes cool sounds and stuff, so, no biggie.

Anyway, Thursday night Greta finally bit the bullet, sat down on the big girl potty and let loose with what I like to call the mother of all toddler bowel movements. Seriously, it was a spectacular turd, man. I don’t know who was cheering louder when she pooped that thing out, the chorus of potty training angels in heaven or my wallet: “Hooray! No more expensive diapers!”. Either way, there was a lot of cheering going on in our tiny little bathroom. We could not have been prouder!

But all Greta cared about was that horse. And as soon as she’d washed and dried her hands (two gold stars!) and pulled up her big girl panties (one more!) she ripped open his box and started playing with Maximus. Whew…you never saw a girl love a horse more! It was awesome.

And the best part is that when it came time to poo again the next day, she used the big girl potty again. Totally on her own, with no big reward or anything. Whew…thank you, Maximus, for everything. I can’t wait to brush your pretty hair. 🙂

The Disney Princesses win again

Grrr…I know it’s lame, especially considering the fact that just about everything in the town where we live (Burbank) is either named after or somehow affiliated with Walt Disney — hell, we live within walking distance of the Disney studios! — but we have been trying really hard NOT to let Greta get sucked into the Disney Princesses sinkhole.

It’s not that either Mrs. Yeti or myself have anything against the princesses themelves. On their own, in their own worlds and time periods in their movies, they are a very charming group of strong, empowered, forward-thinking young women. Um, except Ariel. I mean, she’s gorgeous, with all that flowing hair and that voice and everything, but, I’m sorry, she’s about as deep as a bathtub.

The real problem we have is with all that shameless Disney marketing. I mean, come on, these Princesses were not friends, they didn’t hang out and they sure as hell didn’t spend the holidays together singing Christmas songs. It’s all so…calculated and marketing-y, you know?

Anyway, despite our best efforts to the contrary, tonight, we finally lost the battle with the Disney Princesses. That’s right, Daddy took back the perfectly good pink bunny sleeping bag from Target and returned home with a painfully-pink sleeping bag emblazoned with the faces of Cinderella, Belle, and sweet, stupid Ariel.

And you know what, Greta loved her new sleeping bag so much that she’s sleeping in it (on her bed) right now. And since we are totally in favor of anything that gets that girl to sleep this week…tonight, and only tonight, I am feeling some serious love for those Disney Princesses. Thanks, gals…