Swimming Lessons (2014)

Greta started her third year of swimming lessons this week — hard to believe she's been doing anything for three summers already, but she has — and though I still have some issues with the cleanliness of the pool's locker room and outdoor shower area, so far, things are going great.

Her teacher is very cool, the class size is much smaller than last year (there are six kids in her class versus last year's whopping 12-14!) and best of all, the pool finally got some chairs for parents to sit on. I've noticed that you have to get there kind of early to score a chair, but, hey, if that's what it takes, I'll be there before roll call every day!

Anyway, as you can imagine, I'm taking loads of pics every day (from the comfort of my awesome new deck chair!) but, this one seemed to sum up the unbridled joy of summer swimming lessons better than all of them combined, so…enjoy!

 

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Swimming Lessons (2013)

Sorry for being away for so long, but, have been insanely busy the past couple of months. I know that’s what I always say, but, it’s the truth. Working and raising a kid is hard, yo! And now that I know how much sleep I really need and am trying to get it, I’m afraid blogging has fallen by the wayside. That said, there are a million things I wanted to share with you guys, so, since I just finished up a major project  yesterday, be prepared to be bombarded with blog posts big and small!

The other major time suck of the past two weeks has been Greta’s swim lessons. I know I shouldn’t call it a time suck, because, she loves going to the pool every day and she’s actually really good at it. The reason it’s such a black hole of a time suck is because of the time we scheduled the classes: 5:10-5:40PM. I know that sounds ideal for a vampire family like ours, but it actually eats into our day in a really weird way.

If we do anything remotely fun during the day, we know that every Monday thru Thursday we have to be back in Burbank for our swimming lessons. So, it cramps our park time with friends, makes dinner later than it normally would be, and worst of all, Greta is always tired by the time we get to the pool. Today she told me her legs were too tired to walk to the pool, so I had to carry her! So, note to self: ‘Do not schedule swimming lessons for this late in the day next summer.’ Urgh…

The other major bummer about the swim lessons is that, just like last year, the parents SUCK! No one talks to each other, like, ever. There is a small group of Chinese moms that chit chat with each other while their kids swim, and another set of Indian moms who do the same, but, they all speak in their native tongues. So, even the eavesdropping such at this pool. I have tried talking with some of the dads, a couple of the grandparents, and even Stripper Mom. (Remember her? The tousled blonde chick from Greta’s ‘school’?) but even she shuts me down every time. I’m like, hello, we’ve met a million times. Do you really not remember me? Wow. Guess she must be busy counting her stash of singles in her head or something. The only good thing about her being there is that the afternoons are much closer to her actual work time, so, unlike the mornings where she looks like hell, here, she always look super hot. So, that helps a little…

But seriously, who do I have to kill to find someone to chat with at this pool?! Anyway, at the end of the day, it’s not about me or the other parents at all. It’s about Greta, and she loves her new pool and her new teachers and most of all, her new Minnie Mouse two-piece. So, have at it kid! Daddy will just sit and take pictures…

The last day of school…

Thursday is Greta’s last official day of Parks & Rec. pre-school and I gotta admit, I’m kind of dreading it. And not just because we have to cook a lasagne for the last day potluck, which means Mrs. Yeti and I will be popping a homemade (or more likely frozen) lasagne in the over at like, 8:00AM, so it’s ready in time. The real reason I’m dreading it is because, well, I’ve grown kinda used to the routine of it all over the past eight weeks.

Honestly, it’s been kinda nice having Greta go to “school” (call it anything other than that at your own peril, she is obsessed with the idea of going to school because that’s “what big kids do”) twice a week. I know three hours of truly alone, alone time every week doesn’t sound like much, but, trust me, it’s been amazing. I made a deal with myself early on that I wouldn’t do anything to do with cleaning or cooking during my sacred hour and a half every Tuesday and Thursday. It was my time to work on whatever I wanted (or needed!) to work on or even just sip my coffee and catch up on “my stories” on Tivo. And, man alive, who knew you could get so much shit done in an hour and a half without a toddler tugging at you the whole time. Wow, if this is a sample of what her being in real school is like, sign my ass up! Just kidding. Kind of.

Anyway, speaking of school, another cool thing about Greta’s preschool is that she’s met loads of new friends, several of whom will be going to the same school as she does when she starts Kindergarten next year. And the best thing about that is that aside from liking all of her new friends (except for that one creepy, greasy-haired boy, he knows who he is) I genuinely enjoy the company of their moms as well.

And though I’ll miss my free time, the thing I’ll probably miss even more are the good times I had hanging with the other moms. And, just so you know, I’m using the term “moms” here like hipster thespians use the word “actor” to describe both male and female actors. As in: “Yeti9000’s well stocked snack bag was the envy of the other moms at the park.” Which it often is, by the way. Anyway, immediately following “school”, myself and the other moms would hang out for an hour or so and chat while the kids wore themselves out on the playground. We didn’t always agree on everything and as a rule they tended much more towards the “helicopter parent” school of thought than I do. Except for the “stripper mom” who arrived late every morning in her vintage muscle car with her blonde hair tousled just so. She was always very chill, but, that’s probably because she was tired from working all night. I’m just saying…

And even though there was some spirited parental judgement tossed around initially — some of the moms still comment on some of the stuff we let Greta watch on TV — I can’t say that I didn’t judge back (see above comments re: “stripper mom”), so, it was all good and, overall, this new group of compadres in the parenting wars was a pretty fun bunch.

Several of the Moms were Indian too, so, aside from talking about Indian food all the time, one Mom actually brought some for us all to share one day! Which was awesome! But mostly we just talked about our kids. Because of the age requirement for “school”, all of our kids were pretty much the same age, and almost all of them were girls, so, we had a lot in common.

So, until next fall when the cheapie Parks & Rec. pre-school classes start back up again in earnest…farewell, mis amigas. May the summer be good to you and may you find other bearded fat dudes to chat with in the park while your children play. Oh, and in case you were wondering how Greta’s dealing with the end of “school”, she’s totally cool with it. I asked her today if she was sad that she only had one more day of school and she said: “No, because that mean swimming class is starting!” Ha! I wish I shared her enthusiasm. If you remember, last year’s batch of swim moms sucked ass. Meanest women on the planet.

Luckily we’re at a new pool this year, so, hopefully that means a whole new crop of cool moms (and maybe even dads!) and kids to hang out with. Who knows, maybe stripper mom will be there too!

Swimming Lessons: Week One

She may not be Missy Franklin (yet!), but, Greta started swimming lessons this week with a bang. Actually, it was more like a pained squint. See, Greta had such a hard time seeing over the glare of the pool on Monday that she spent half the class covering her eyes with her little hands.

So, we hit a couple of stores — it’s not as easy as you’d think to find toddler goggles with UV protection, especially this late in the season! — and we finally found a pair we could all live with. Greta loved the colors (especially the pink lenses) but, we were just glad she could actually see things while taking her class. Hooray!

Anyway, so far, Greta has learned to paddle around with her face in the water, jump into the pool, and kick. On Tuesday, she even “swam” a couple of feet from the center of the pool to the steps when thrown out there by her instructor. But my favorite part of it all are these cute-ass goggles. Seriously, they kill me. I’m gonna have to have them bronzed someday…