Second Monday…

Man, just when I thought we were doing so well, good old second Monday rolls around to fudge everything up. And though she was grumpy, tired and downright hostile a few times, Greta's finest moments this morning involved some truly inventive delay tactics.

First, she said she was too sick to go to school. Oldest trick in the book, I know, but, still very effective, especially since she has a very mild cold. But, since that was my go-to excuse growing up, daddy wasn't buying it. Sorry, biscuit.

So, then she got really creative and staged a “sit in” on the toilet for like five minutes. When I told her we had to leave, Greta said she was waiting for her poo to come out and that she wasn't going to school until it did. Good times! Needles to say, the poo never came and many tears were shed as we made our way to the kitchen to put on her shoes.

There again, she pulled out the big guns claiming that her shoes had tiny sticks in them that I couldn't see but that hurt her feet. After much stick searching and more tears, we switched to another pair and hurried to the car, where she staged perhaps her finest trick of the morning: pretending to fall asleep on the drive to school!

I don't remember trying that one as a kid, but, wow, if they gave out gold stars for morning delay tactics Greta would be top of her class! Simply put, she was good, but I was better. And since I've grown accustomed to half-dragging her ass to school lately, I just pretended not to notice that she was “asleep” and kept right on dragging.

And despite all the tears and recriminations — not to mention the fact that she would not say “goodbye” to me when we parted — we still somehow managed to make it to school on time, but something tells me we're in for another long-ass week…

 

 

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Kindergarten Week One: The New World Order

Yesterday marked the end of the first full week of kindergarten and let me tell ya, whoever said I’d have more time on my hands once Greta started school is full of shit. I haven’t felt this frazzled and out-of-my-element since those first few days after we brought Greta home from the hospital. Seriously, it’s been non-stop since Monday morning.

One of my new mom friends equated this week with starting a new job, and she’s not far off. I was anxious, way too concerned with my hair and what I was wearing, tired as fuck (sorry, but my usual F-word substitute, “fudge,” just didn’t seem to express how truly exhausting this week has been) and completely overwhelmed with paperwork. Insanity!

And though there have been definite highlights and I’ve made fast friends with several very chill moms and dads of students in Greta’s class, I think all three of us are a little overwhelmed by the sweeping sea change washing over us right now.

So far, Greta has been loving school but it’s the getting up in the morning and going there that kills her. However, aside from Wednesday morning, which was just horrific — at one point I was literally dragging her to class! — she really loves her teacher and each new day was better than the last. So, that’s progress in my book.

Personally, I found myself finally getting into the groove around Thursday, which is great because it ended up being one of the longest days of my life. I got up at 7:15 (which, believe it or not, has been my start time all week!), got Greta ready, dropped her off at school at 8:25 and then headed to my first PTA meeting at 8:30. Luckily for me, I managed to squeeze in some breakfast, because it turned out to be a three hour meeting! Yikes…who knew?

Fortunately, the meeting got out a little early (at around 11:00) so I had time to run to Costco and Trader Joe’s before heading back to school to pick up Greta at 1:30. We then headed to the park for a mini reunion with some of our old friends from Greta’s pre-school days, and then headed from there straight to ballet class, where we shared an emotional goodbye with Greta’s beloved ballet teacher who started her maternity leave today.

After ballet, we ran home to change and pick up Mrs. Yeti and then hurried back to Greta’s school for a massive “Back-to-School” picnic. They had food trucks, music, a farmer’s market selling produce grown at the school’s onsite garden (!) and again, many chances to meet new parent friends. Simply put, it was awesome. If all the parents at Stevenson are as hip, artsy and totally diverse as the ones we met this week, this new world order might not be so bad after all!

Now, if we could just get a handle on the constant flow of paperwork coming our way, I think we might be ready to face week two. Wish us luck!

 

 

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The Walking Dead…

Greta’s birthday party was almost a week ago, and while it was awesome, it was also completely exhausting. Anyone who has ever planned a kid’s birthday party themselves knows what I’m talking about: a lot of work, a lot of money, way too much to do and very little sleep. It’s like going to war. Well, OK, not that bad, but, pretty damn close. And from what I hear it gets worse when the kids get older and start inviting whole classrooms full of kids. Yikes…

Anyway, the party went off without a hitch (although Mrs. Yeti and have decided to jokingly refer to Greta’s birthday parties as “divorce makers” from here on out) and I think everyone had a lot of fun. Most especially the kids. So, yay! I’ll post pics soon. I promise! And I know I’ve said that before, but, this time, the pics have made the jump from my camera to the computer and some of them are even up on Facebook already. So, hang tight, pics really are coming this time.

The other no-so-fun thing about staging a big-ass kids party is that one, or all three of us, inevitably ends up a little sick after it’s all said and done. And this time, it’s Greta and myself who caught the bug. It’s really just a cold, but, coupled with this insane heat wave we’re having — it was 91 degrees outside for most of the day today! — it’s been a really long and nasty week for both of us.

And though we did manage to make it out to the library yesterday, Greta’s runny nose peaked today and going anywhere went right out the window. No need to spread our zombie virus any further.

So, we stayed home today and drove each other crazy instead. Seriously, indoor activities lose their luster pretty quickly when it’s hot as hell outside and both of your noses are draining all day long. Urgh…talk about a germ factory. I’m surprised Mrs. Yeti hasn’t taken to sleeping on the couch!

Thankfully, my most taxxing plans this weekend involve plopping a giant slab of corned beef into a crockpot full of boiling water. And lemme tell ya, Sunday can’t come soon enough.

God bless ye, St. Patrick!

Overloaded

Please forgive my absence of late. We had three big parties over three very-busy weekends in a row and I spent the last week pretty much recovering from the thrill/joy/nausea of it all. Seriously, any one of those parties (one was for the Oscars, one was for Greta’s third birthday and one was for my Grandma’s 90th birthday) would have tired a normal person out. But three parties over three weekends was just plain crazy.

Combine all that with the fact that Mrs. Yeti has been working like a beast (long hours, six-day workweeks, you name it) which means I’ve been doing the brunt of the toddler wrangling, and, well, let’s just say even my best Barbie scenarios are wearing kinda thing these days.

On the upside, the cat is using her box like a pro (or, you know, like a regular cat) and Greta has declared me her “best friend” four days running, so, there’s always that…

Slightly less troubled sleep…

Hooray! The good news is that Greta fell asleep in her own bed tonight after only three very calm (on my part) “back-in-the-crib” with you interactions. The bad news is that that third time was a fucking killer, man! Yikes…

The minute I chucked her back in her crib, our little angel climbed out and screamed and shook and pounded on her closed bedroom door until it sounded like she might just rip it from it’s hinges — I’d apologize to my upstairs neighbors for the noise, but their kids were way worse than Greta at her age, so I figure it’s Karmic revenge — so, what did we do while all this mayhem unfolded in the next room? You guessed it, we totally ignored her.

It wasn’t easy — her tearful pleas to sleep in “Mommy/Daddy’s bed” were the most heartbreaking — but we stuck to our guns and sat together on the couch with the Tivo on pause as she screamed and cried for almost eight minutes. And then, something amazing happened…Greta stopped banging on the door, climbed back into bed and fell asleep on her own. Just like that.

So, we are either the worst parents on earth or the savviest. Either way, we’re all sleeping much, much better tonight…